I often believe that life has a way of presenting circumstances in our lives as a method of reminding us about lessons yet to be learnt or merely fragmentary reflections of current events. And so such began for me, my pet Gnat. Admittedly; there were several matters bugging me recently, ordeals seemingly beyond my control. And there, every time I came home – to greet me was The Gnat. Persistently pesky little bugger, reluctant to die. Never once did it try to flight upon my food, as if to contentedly fulfill its’ own needs. Instead, this Gnat would seemingly sneak from its’ hidden abode, explicitly when my eyes were fixated else where in deep thought; than zoom! Zoom, whoosh, whiz repeatedly; as I tried in accordance, only to unsuccessfully squish it with my hand or paper. Until at last this became liken a game between us of - dash, clasp, miss. Okay maybe I am taking this a wee far by my next train of thought, however; I swear this ruthless pest would accompany me at work in the good olde days. In the building at my place of employment, we seldom get pestered by the ‘real insects'. It’s not like we have flyswatter decors hanging about in all confined cubicles. No! Yet there ‘it’ was, The Gnat! And so Whoosh, slap, miss! Like a fool whom never learns from mistakes; I continued to take the hurtle bait, only to constantly get the same results - missed! Blasted rascal! Ok, if this pest was not the same from my home, than please explain how one day the annoyer was in my car, when I got off work! The Gnat – there to greet me in my auto, as if waiting for a free ride home from ‘its’ weary day of play. Ok I hear you. Gnats are massively every where! I have finally lost it. I am bugging out! This Gnat has ultimately succeeded - if only to drive me batty! Well today, or maybe it has been a few days now, anyhow; I am sadden to say, I lost my Pesky pet. No, I did not kill The Gnat. I recon ‘it’ has gone to pester someone else or has died of starvation – somewhere between my home and the open road. Or at worse, has become someones’ windshield muck. Just, I’m certain The Gnat did not leave of its own accord; as there are still plenty of recent tribulations tugging at my heart strings and playing intensely on my mind. Yet, sadly gone is The Gnat. Now I can’t help but wonder if I had ever succeeded in squishing ‘it’, would I have felt relieved or remorse. Perhaps we all need such a Pest, I mean Pet in our lives at times. Something tiny, requiring minimal upkeep; just something small enough to keep the mind occupied on other things, if but for a minute - so that the raw obvious doesn’t continuously eat us alive from the inside out, like an introverted vulture. Therefore; here’s wishing Gnats in your life! May you go batty as bed bugs, if but for a fleeting moment! Zoom, whoosh, whiz!
Dragonball Z - Eating Me Away
SKILLET
"Eating Me Away"
It's eating me away
I said to God
It's rotting in my mind
It's like a cancer
Is there anything, anything at all to numb the nothingness
I need a reason to breathe
It's eating me away
Yeah, yeah....
It's eating me away
It nibbles at my brain
The question of my existence
And the matter of pain
I shake my fist, I shake my fist
At the cosmos and my insignificance
I need a reason to breathe
It's eating me away
[CHORUS:]
Save me from my rage
And my humanity
I'm more nothing than being
Is this my legacy
Feel it eating me away
Yeah, yeah.....
All that I am, all that I want, all that I lack
Come on and save me
All that I am, all that I want, all that I lack
Come on and save me
[CHORUS]
All that I am, all that I want, all that I lack
Come on and save me
All that I am, all that I want, all that I lack
Come on and save me
Who likes doing laundry? Except for those Martha Stewart ‘Washabuzybees’, hardly anyone! It’s another chore on that invisible, endless list of things that need to be done. Like grocery shopping, if you want to eat. House cleaning, if you don’t want your place to be condemned. (Nothing like a wrecking ball to wreck your life.) Work, if you don’t want to be homeless. Yes, that wonderfully invisible, forever increasing - better known as, the 'to-do' list. Wouldn’t life be much simpler if everyone just went around stinking dirty, hungry, and homeless? Think about how much time could be saved! And no more spending your hard earned money on another endless list of ‘things to buy’ to get the to-do list done. Like deodorant, laundry detergent, dish detergent, soap, food, lights, rent, mortgage… Instead of dying filthy rich, by working ourselves to death - we all could just die from stinkin’ starvation. Well, that just seems a little too ‘foul’ for me. So where was that freakin’ list, oh yes laundry. Meanwhile; when we launder those wearable items, wouldn’t it be nice if we could also just wash our problems away! Apparently, now we can with 'Prozac Mood Brightener, Wash Your Blues Away!'
Well Happy Washing Readers! May you often see the rainbow, in spite of the rain.
At first I thought this was funny...then I realized the awful truth of it. Be sure to read all the way to the end!
Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.
Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.
Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.
Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.
Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.
Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries, then
Tax his tears.
Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax his ass
Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won't be done
Till he has no dough.
When he screams and hollers,
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till
He's good and sore.
Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he's laid.
Put these words
Upon his tomb,
"Taxes drove me
To my doom..."
When he's gone,
Do not relax,
Its time to apply
The inheritance tax.
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel permit tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Interest expense
Inventory tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Room Tax
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road usage taxes
Sales Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone federal excise tax
Telephone federal universal service fee tax
Telephone federal, state and local surcharge taxes
Telephone minimum usage surcharge tax
Telephone recurring and non-recurring charges tax
Telephone state and local tax
Telephone usage charge tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
Excuse me; I seem to have misplaced my teeth somewhere! No, I do not have false pearly whites. Just I have been nibbling on several jams recently. Than, just as I was about to digest some more from my already full plate, I noticed my bite wasn’t as sharp. Perhaps this is what butter knives were meant for, to help spread it all around! Anyone care for some jam! If only life were this easy! Just think, we could pick and choose what was severed on our dish! Yuck, I don’t want this, ok fork it over – I’ll take some! Assuredly, this would be one extensive meal no one would be shouting for seconds! Regrettably, as if to add salt to an already raw wound, we must almost gracefully accept this fact about life; it’s not that accommodating. For no matter the time, the place, or how much already on any platter, there will always be room for circumstances. However; there is no need to use a knife to slit one’s own throat over this. Whence the clear-cut truth is, circumstances have no margins. Nonetheless, liken any good recipe - with the proper ingredients and preparation, we can maintain a healthy mind and reap our just desserts! Plop Plop Fizz Fizz, oh what a relief that is! Lawyers say I have to add this: Caution: may have to grind a little slower or a little longer in order to absorb what is being offered. Meanwhile; if you find my virtual teeth somewhere out among this blogosphere, kindly return them to me! For perhaps later; I’ll feel the need to chew the fat over a nice glass of wine best served cold.
My Nephew Dirk literally in a cast, performing with the Cast! Fabulous talent and splendid humor that will have everyone laughing and saying - Encore, encore!
Presented by BRIGHT STAR CHILDREN'S THEATRE that "was launched to provide high caliber, professional theatre at an affordable and all-inclusive price. Our objective has long been to make our theatre company as accessible as possible--reaching as many young people in the process as we could, a commitment we proudly standby today."
A Co-Worker turned the big 50 the other day! Many of us couldn’t help rather to discuss how she does not look nearly 50. Then she began telling us about her Husband. In fact, later this week they will have been married for 10 years! She continued with how her Husband can be a Crab Apple in the mornings. To avoid this, she usually awakens before him so as to ready herself for work. The day of her Birthday was no different. She towel dried from her shower and proceeded to brush her teeth. Suddenly her Husband comes rushing into the bathroom. Startled, she asked him what he was doing. In a Frisky manner he replied, “ I just wanted to see what a sexy 50 year old butt looks like.” Needless to say, this made her day.
Is that like the sweetest thing you’ve ever heard!
There’s a quote on the WWW that goes:
“Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take apples from the ground that are not as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right person to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.”
Crab Apple or not, surely my Co-Worker found the right Person brave enough to climb to the top, her Husband – the Apple of her eye.
Permission from Co-Worker to write this story granted to BindingInk.org
The bitter sweetness of software upgrades, particularly at a place of employment! Someone must have added a dash of nuts to this bitter sweet candy bar, cause the improvements are driving me crazy! Some where behind the shroud – surely, someone in the Network Help Department is rofl right about now; as Monday morning, the Guinea pig-lab rats arrive. Shortly afterwards, the impending announcement: Ladies and Gentlemen start your engines! Suddenly, the sound of a thousand computers rebooting can be heard throughout the building. Beep, beep what the f** bleep bleep… and so on throughout the work week. Headache inducing, narrated overhead broadcast messages like, we have a data block – please log off and back on…. Suckers! Amplified transmission: Please log off again, stand by, log on…. Lollipops Suckers for everyone! Loudspeaker message, Please wait, network resources are low. Everyone log off. At least, as if for our entertainment; with each glitch, the assortment of voices from the above amp would differ. From time to time we could hear panic in a Help Department voice and thus feared we all were going to crash with the system, without any seat belts or refreshments! As echoed from the mikes, “We need EVERYONE to log off. Please log off NOW!” Nonetheless; the situation began to remind me of a not so convenient store, Stop n’ Go! What the heck, while I am here let me pick up a few items! Oh yes, Stress Management! Quick, on the Job Training; hands on experience! Oh wait, there’s Positive Thinking! System down is down time for Staff! Relax, put your feet up, have a break and just enjoy! Remember, Personnel are getting paid for any inconveniences! So to the one behind the invisible shroud, I say – who’s laughing now! Oh yea, coffee time galore!
I was going to write an intellectually intriguing post, seriously - however; sometimes laughter is the best remedy. I only hope whom I’m about to post about doesn’t mind me sharing their humor! Jokingly I say: It's my mail and heck free advertisement and possible less e-mail for them, what more could they ask for! Anyhow, I was e-mailing an innocent enough letter, so I thought. Honey Bees galore, my words were full of thank you, praises... Well, little did they know, their automated e-mail response made my day! And now for all those whom may not have the need to e-mail these kind friendly folks, for your entertainment and enjoyment; here is their response:
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Business opportunities Please email eric@mybloglog.com with details. Please keep in mind that we're now a part of the Yahoo! team, so if you want to sell ads on our site, you're SOL.
Spammers Piss off.
That about does it. Seriously, thank you again for emailing us.
Cheers!
The MyBlogLog Team
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As a Writer, there are times we must assume all roles, be it male or female. So Guys, this subject may not be for you, despite the fact that ‘men’ is included in the word. All the same, many may have read the story about “The Boy Who Cried Wolf”. “Chicken Little” the sky is falling, the sky is falling. Or heard the expression, “Liar, liar pants on fire”. And so it was with my two hen layers. They had become pathological liars. Oh yea, we’ll start on the first. Oh, we meant we would start on the first and the 20th. Or the 25th through the 10th. Oh, or we forgot! Did we startle you! Hence began the pathological passageway of scrutinizing the false alarmists. Talk about being hen pecked! One Doctor would poke here. Another Doctor would probe there. Here a henny penny, there a hen penny, everywhere a penny, until nothing made sense. Picture this, the only thing that did develop - was my two new friends, negatives and false positives. Meanwhile, I had become more cantankerous. Can’t take this, can’t take that – tetchy, touchy, tetchy. So I was given a daily dose of Artificial Happiness. Smile damn you, smile! Indeed, a hard pill to swallow. Once absorbed, I could almost hear the medication screaming, you want me to do what! This isn’t a chicken coop, it’s a pigs sty! Mother Nature had taken her path, a logical course. She had gone in like a thief in the night. Made a mess of everything, then at age 44 she robbed me of my womanhood. All that remained were unpredictable periods of rain, showers, storms, droughts…. Mostly showers. ‘Sew’ a Doctor suggested cauterization. What! Cauterized sounded like a word that belonged with neutered, spayed. Apparently, I had been acting like an animal, but cauterization! Um, yes solder the lining of your uterus. Then move the play pin - give everything a good dusting and cleaning. Sure why not! And while you’re there, give me a tubal ligation so my ovaries can be as tongue tied as I am speechless! That won’t be necessary, Ma'am’. This procedure however; will replace the hen layers with a Rooster featured weather vane to point more accurately. Well, poke me with a fork and call me done. Out with the old and in with the new, let the remodeling commence! And so, ‘Once upon a time’ youth prevailed. Now I must trade what is left of my youth for health, in hopes of living a ‘happy ever after.’ ~The End
A Co-Worker turned the big 50 the other day! Many of us couldn’t help rather to discuss how she does not look nearly 50. Then she began telling us about her Husband. In fact, later this week they will have been married for 10 years! She continued with how her Husband can be a Crab Apple in the mornings. To avoid this, she usually awakens before him so as to ready herself for work. The day of her Birthday was no different. She towel dried from her shower and proceeded to brush her teeth. Suddenly her Husband comes rushing into the bathroom. Startled, she asked him what he was doing. In a Frisky manner he replied, “ I just wanted to see what a sexy 50 year old butt looks like.” Needless to say, this made her day.
