Death and Dying

Yes there is a difference between Death and Dying. Death comes without warning and dying creeps in to take over your life with a terminally ill death sentence, stamped with an approximate life expectancy date. My heart goes out to embrace all the children who are terminally ill, they remain their innocent self while becoming stronger than they should need to be at their young age. In the adult world; sadly knowing death is knocking at the door, many people begin to get their affairs in order, make amends if needed, all the while searching and hoping for a cure that won’t kill them quicker while they are dying to live. During these times, there are those people when given a death sentence who will remain their own sweet self. Other people will react like a sports participant, running around trying to better their lives and relationships with the people they know and love; but once the endorphins wear off, they return to their normality and begin the routine of home, doctor, home, doctor, home… until death do they part. Regrettably; other people will steadily remain their seemingly natural cruel self and depart this world as seemingly angry as they entered it.

The only similarities in Death and Dying is that no matter what, when it is your time to depart this earth, it is your time. Reminds me of a true story that occurred in one of our local nearby towns. An elderly lady was involved in a car accident, fortunately a minor fender bender; so she continued her drive home. Shortly afterwards; approximately two blocks away, another truck struck her car and instantly killed the elderly lady.

Face it people, none of us are going to get out of this world alive. I can not emphasis enough to get your affairs in order. Have two Wills, a Living Will and a Last Will. Get and keep your belongings sorted, make a notarized list of who gets what or what can be thrown away; do not leave this behind for those living. Going through your belongings after you’ve passed away is not an easy task; not only does it take an emotional toll on the heart, there are also somethings that are best left unknown about your life and should be deposed of before hand or at least in a box labeled, “Throw Out Upon my Death”.

Understand the difference between a Living Will and a Last Will. ^LegalZoom: “A will, also known as a last will, distributes a person's property after his death. A living will, on the other hand, explains what kind of medical care that person wants when he is still alive but unable to explain his wishes”

Also, I highly recommend a Living Trust instead of a Last Will. There are Lawyers who know the gray area in the laws that can allow a person to obtain Power of Attorney after a persons’ death in order to supersede the Personal Representative listed on a Will to also replace and exclude any appointed second Personal Representative.

^Nolo: "Property left through a living trust does not pass through probate. Property left through a will does go through probate. Probate is the court system designed to wrap up a person's affairs after their debts. Probate takes a long time, can be very expensive, and for most estates, isn't necessary."

As for when a loved one dies, with or without warning; forget the 5 or 7 Stages of Grief. There are no stages. Every emotion you could ever feel will rush through each and every fiber of your being; in one swift gut wrenching, heart shattering, mentally bewildered… longest moment in your entire life thus far. You will become angry with yourself wondering if you could have done more, you will question if in those final hours, did you do and say enough. You’ll doubt rather you had even said, I love you my dear Friend. It was then I truly understood just how deep friendship enters the heart, sometimes deeper than family members. I’ve probably only had 6 deaths of loved ones in my 50ish years. 4 family members, 2 friends, and have only been able to attend two of those funerals. But nothing can prepare anyone for being there when a loved one takes their last breath. Somehow though you will find the strength to be strong for them, offering comfort. And when the time comes; and it will and you will know when, in some way you will also find the strength needed to tell your loved one who has suffered enough, that ‘it is okay to go now’; all the while you are going to pieces inside.

And the closer you are to a loved one who has sadly passed away, the harder it is in that very moment, let alone daily to pick up the shattered pieces of what remains of your life and try to continue on. Two months later, I still cry without any warning and not always because a memory crept in my mind. Sometimes I just get this huge lump in my throat, then unexpectedly tears spontaneously burst from my eyes as if the very depth of my heart is weeping. Recently I was in the middle of an important job interview and my tears instantly streamed down my face, onto my resume. Did I get the job? No. Life goes on and a death is no excuse. The hospital bills start rolling in faster than the funeral. You call to make payment arrangements and the creditors knowing no payments were ever late in life, fear my friend may finally be late paying because of death. So they are quick to want to lay stake on the estate, no matter how small the estate is such as merely an automobile. And when I called the Vet to reorder the flea medicine prescription for my friend’s cat, I was denied. Angry, I merely said: after all the money my friend spent at your establishment, you are going to deny the cat flea meds because he is 1 pound over weight for the current dosage! (*Thinking to myself: Unless I agree to increase his flea meds and risk increasing his life expectancy because of 1 freaking pound.) I was quick to apologize for my outburst, however; immediately after the phone conversation, the Veterinarian Office Supervisor called; reprimanding me as if I were a child, stating a death is no excuse for my behavior. Yes people, there is no time or excuse for mourning; life goes on. So people, be as prepared as you can be in life for death while you continue to enjoy living. And mostly; when someone you cherish passes away, be ready to put on your pretend happy face while you are falling apart inside, because the majority of the living don’t give a damn about Death and Dying.

Related Posts:
How Did You Die? by Edmund Vance Cooke
Is God To Blame?
Cubical Human Rat Race

Lost and Found. On this emotional roller coaster called life; during crises, especially in regards to health and/or the death of a loved one, a persons' faith can be shaken. Yet for others in times of crises that tug on the heart strings, their faith is strengthened; while for other people, they find faith. -ndpthepoetress

In Loving Memory

It has only been a few months into the New Year and heaven has already welcomed several close friends of mine; including recently, my Dearly Beloved Aunt Ella Violet Brokaw; whose memorial service was held yesterday - Sunday, May 15, 2011. Ironically in 1998; grief stricken, I had dropped out of college because her husband of 51 years, my Uncle Bill passed away. 13 years later, early April 2011; I had just completed my re-enrollment for the same college I had been attending in 1998, when shortly afterwards I received the sad news about my Aunt departing. My Aunt and Uncle were my mentors, my role-models, my friends. There wasn’t a single birthday or holiday in my life that they never forgot to send me cards and gifts. The letters and pictures they sent me, the many phone calls all helped to fill the void of the miles between us. They were genuinely two exceptionally remarkable, extraordinary people who lived the moral fibers of their Christian faith; extending this lovingly into the lives of all those they knew, including in the raising of their own two children and in carrying on their traditions with each new member of their ever growing family. Now with only 2 weeks before admittedly; I am one year from the age of 50, this has come to be an end to an era for me. Yet; as I look at my sister, who’s oldest child Dirk will graduate high school this year and her youngest child Bennie will soon follow suite... As I look to my own Daughter and I watch how my Daughter is successfully raising her own Family, blessing them with the same love and values I was raised and influenced by from my Aunt and Uncle; I am reminded of the song sang by Elton John (sung below by my Nephews), that the ‘Circle of Life’ truly does go on.

Thanks Uncle Bill and Aunt Ella for the many fantastic memories; from our walks on the beach, the wedding of your daughter, the hand your son held of the child you so lovingly watched over, the violin recitals you attended, my first double dipped ice cream cone, you alls VW bug, Mr. Potato Head, the home you two so lovingly shared, the hornets, the skylight, the paintings, the piano, the many flavorfully preserved mason jars, …

And here’s to you Aunt Ella and Uncle Bill, an end of an era; but your traditions continue to live on!

Circle of Life by Dirk Parker and Bennie Parker

The Parker Brothers Music

Ella Brokaw Obituary: View Ella Brokaw's Obituary by Times Recorder:

Ella Cronk Brokaw


HENDERSONVILLE, NC: Ella Cronk Brokaw, 85, passed away April 9, 2011 in the home of her daughter. Born in Stevens Point, Wisconsin on December 30, 1925, she was the youngest child of Ethel Simonds and George Cronk.

She attended Broadview Academy and Emmanual Missionary College where she met her husband of 51 years, William G. Brokaw. Ella attended and then taught at Meredith Business College. She was an active member of the Seventh-day Adventist Church and could often be found making costumes for the school and church plays. In 2001, following the death of her husband in 1998, Ella moved to Hendersonville, NC to live with her daughter and be closer to her son.

She is survived by her brother, Duane Cronk and Mary; her sister, Evelyn Vaughn and Arky; her son, William E. Brokaw and Sherra; daughter, Patricia J. Moore and Pierce. She has seven grandchildren, Jason Brokaw, Terissa Miller, Tonya Oxford, Adam Hiltner, Kaylin Lang, Brian Moore, and Heather Carvill; and six great-grandchildren.

She was loving, creative, and generous with both her time and talents. Her beautiful smile and sweet spirit will be greatly missed by all those who knew and loved her.

A memorial service will be held at Zanesville Memorial Park on May 15, 2011 at 11:00 a.m.

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Sweet Goodies

Look at what I found in my email today! Yummmmmmyyyyy!

!!! BEWARE !!!

This Email contains Cookies !!!

From Our Hearts to Yours :-)

* photos and display by my Big Brother Christopher L. Culp

SOS

Scoop Of Soup
Picture This
Soup's On

 

  

  

  

 

Soup's GonE

* photos and display by my Brother Christopher L Culp

A Mother’s Nightmare

Tugs on a Mother and Aunt’s, Family Heart Strings

Some Readers are familiar with my luck that as the old saying goes, when it rains it pours. Such as in my post The Extensive Misery of Bad Luck about my car breaking down, the sadden loss of my pet, and a Happy Birthday to me - here’s an abscessed tooth, etc. Stress Stinks about the ever increasing pressures on my job, the health of my Co-Worker, more car repairs for me again. And When Is It Okay To Scream? about carrying for Humanity and the strange events surrounding the health/deaths of many of my Co-Workers.

Recently however; I have been happy that the events in my life have been pretty much even-steven as the saying goes. Though at the end of January, 100 People including myself were laid-off from our place of employment. Then toward the end of February, the Unemployment Commission forgot to send me my benefit package. Happily; they fixed that relatively quickly. Meanwhile; miraculously my online Federal tax rebate was in my checking account in less than five days! And a Friend of mine helped direct me to a program that might assist with one of my medicines. Having properly applied for the prescription program, waiting 30 days, and my medicine running low; I called to inquire about my application. However; the company said they had nothing about me on file! Luckily a few days later, my Doctor office called to say the medicine was in! My Sister however; has not been as fortunate. And it is with her permission I share these startling, tragedy events with you:

My Sister lives on a military base with her Husband and their two boys, my Nephews. In April while they all were at the movie theater, someone broke in to their home. Perhaps a kid/teenager because nothing was taken except some coins in a jar and their things rummaged through. Still creepy knowing someone was in your home and able to even get in your home on a military base. Then at the beginning of May, her Husband headed overseas for his second stint, like many of our Men and Women in the military service. Shortly afterwards, on May 7 our father Gene passed away of a lingering illness. One would think if you knew you were dying, you would make proper arrangements. However; our father did not and so my Sister took care of all the funeral arrangements. I never realized how much is involved in the burial of a person until my Sister shared with me the long process.

Based on our State residency, each Sibling needed to sign a waiver to give her our permission to be in charge of his remains. The mortician had to wait for the Doctor to sign the death certificate. Later my Sister had to fill in any additional personal information that was needed to complete the form. Meanwhile; a donor organization called my Sis to request various organ donations. Then for some reason the funeral parlor isn’t open on the weekends (like do People not die on the weekends?), so my Sister was unable to get his ashes the weekend she drove here to SC. Finally, May 11th the cremation was preformed and his ashes mailed to my Sister. She wrote a beautiful obituary for him and sent that to the local Newspaper where he resided. Then on June 18th, his birthday – there will be a private memorial service for him.

Shortly after his death on May 7, my oldest Nephew age 15 and one of his Friends were invited into a home on the military base where they live. They were invited in by an older guy who is like an assistant coach or some kind of semi-pro football player, I’m not sure which. Having stepped inside the home, this guy introduced the boys to his mom. Suddenly this guy’s mother shouts get out. My Nephew asked the guy if his mother was joking when this mother says, you think I’m joking and quickly shoots a 9 mm gun that passes right by my Nephews ear, into the next home, and lodges outside in another person’s shed! How blessed was my Sister’s Son, my Nephew! How fortunate no one next door was shot.

My Nephew was smart. He ran, hid, and thinking first of his Mom calls and says don’t come out of the house - there’s a woman with a gun, then he calls the police. My Sister of course isn’t going to stay inside knowing her Son is out there, so she goes looking for him. It wasn’t til late that the military police show up merely stating the woman was in the right to protect her home cause her story was she woke up startled thinking someone had broken into her home. Despite the fact; that her son seeing his Mom armed, immediately shouted just before the gun went off, Mom what are you doing. Later it was learnt that it is possible this woman had shot a gun once before. The local police said they could not get involved because it was Federal property. Finally; tension on the military base escalated until a military meeting was held and they opted for the woman and her family to move off the base. But guess what, her husband gets to come home from the war to help them move because the military say it is his responsibility. Dang, this just isn’t fair, she shoots at my Nephew, my Sister’s Son and her husband gets to come home from the war. Shouldn’t my Sister’s Husband be the one to get to come home?

After this shooting incident, my Sister promptly got my Nephew understandably needed psychiatric help. Shortly afterwards, my oldest Nephew and his younger Friend who was with him in the house the night of the shooting decided to skip school. The first time my Nephew ever cut class and they of course were suspended. You’d think the principle would have taken into consideration the psychological mind frame of the kids, given what they had been through.

Meanwhile; things continued to go awry for my Sister. She opted to let my oldest Nephew pump gas in her van while she went inside the gas station to get change. She returned to see my Nephew pumping diesel instead of unleaded! We both agree this is an easy mistake to make because those dang diesel pumps shouldn’t even be on the same gas isle. I often worry myself about doing the same thing when I fill up with gas. Anyhow; the grand total to drain and repair her van was $500 with the mechanic stating it would have been worse if unleaded were put into a diesel vehicle.

Then at school a 6’2, 17 year old guy decided to pulverize my oldest - 15 year old Nephew! For some reason this guy had a habit of often grabbing one of my Nephew’s breast. My Nephew usually just took the invasion of privacy and said nothing, not wanting to make any trouble. Only this day my Nephew decided to merely push the guy’s hand away. My Nephew having already been suspended for cutting school and this being his second suspension knew the school policy was 3 strikes you are expelled; so he dared not fight back, as the guy continued to pound into his face. My youngest Nephew finally intervened and just as he did, this 6’2 guy and a Friend of his ganged up on my youngest Nephew and his ribs. Both older guys and my youngest Nephew were suspended, fortunately not my oldest Nephew cause he didn’t do anything. Still again no consideration from the principle for the circumstances involved, Brother standing up for Brother and two on one. My Sister took my Nephews to the doctor especially because my older Nephew looked as if his jaw was broken. Thankfully; both my Nephews are okay.

Wow, my poor Sister! All this with her health not doing so well either. For example; her back becomes strangely out of joint in various areas at times. The current diagnosis is possible degenerative disc disease. Yet I am a firm believer that with every rain there is a rainbow and so it is for my Sister. The house her Husband and her picked out before he went overseas is now theirs! As of July her and her two boys will be moving in until February when her Husband can join them!

Yes this has been a long post, however; if I didn’t write it, who would believe so much could happen to one person; (besides to me lol). Maybe such will help others to count their blessings.

And so no matter what you are going through in life, for you, for my Sister:

“May God give you...For every storm a rainbow, for every tear a smile, for every care a promise and a blessing in each trial. For every problem life sends, a faithful friend to share, for every sigh a sweet song and an answer for each prayer.” - Irish Blessing

Hallelujah My Nephews Singing!

Enjoy more music by Dirk Parker and Bennie Parker w Matt Holmes on guitar, visit MySpace: Pixel Horizon

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BRIGHT STAR CHILDREN'S THEATRE with Nephew Dirk (Comedy)

Bridge Over Troubled Water with Nephew Dirk

My Nephews in a Band!

Pixel Horizon Band Members:


Michael Murrell- Guitar, Keyboards, Vox!
Dirk Parker-Lead VOX!
Bennie Parker-Lead VOX!

Featuring my Nephews Dirk and Bennie:

Check out this video: Dark California: EP (live) by Pixel Horizon







This Love (Maroon 5 Cover)




Related Posts:

Dirk Parker - Song Bridge Over Troubled Water

History Express-- Bennie's Play

Big Booty Dirk's Play

My Nephew Bennie Age 13 Skit

History Express-- Bennie's Play

Bennie's Summer Camp Play from Theater Week 2

That’s my Nephew Bennie! The tallest one, the one in the white long sleeved shirt, the one who played Abraham Lincoln!!!!

Proud Auntie Michelle (ndpthepoetress - Jeane Michelle Culp) :)

Presented by BRIGHT STAR CHILDREN'S THEATRE that "was launched to provide high caliber, professional theatre at an affordable and all-inclusive price. Our objective has long been to make our theatre company as accessible as possible--reaching as many young people in the process as we could, a commitment we proudly standby today."

Karri Brantley and David Ostergaard, the founders of Bright Star Children's Theatre - were the instructors working with the kids here both weeks.

In the last year the Bright Star Children's Theatre "list of supporters has grown substantially! Our recent sponsors include: the National Theatre in Washington DC, SC State Museum, NC State Museum of History, Iredell Museum, Greensboro Historical Museum, Carrboro Arts Center, The Broyhill Center, Newnan Centre for Performing Arts, The Parkway Playhouse, HART Theatre, Creative Spark, KidSenses, North Charleston Arts Festival, The City of Rock Hill, City of Albemarle, a dozen Arts Councils, over a hundred libraries and literally hundreds of schools from Detroit to Atlanta and Indianapolis to Washington DC!"

"Bright Star offers a variety of theatrical packages ranging from one-hour workshops and residencies to month long summer camps. We can customize a variety of our programs or work with you to develop the perfect event for your needs.

Other workshops may focus on a variety of subjects from character creation to improvisation, Shakespeare to Play Development.

Please feel free to contact BRIGHT STAR CHILDREN'S THEATRE for additional information and details!"

"Now accepting bookings for our 2008-2009 Season! Including two brand new productions: 'The Life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr' and 'The Adventures of Treasure Island!' We sincerely hope you will allow us to be a part of your 2008-2009 young audience series!'"

Related Posts: Theatrical Comedy With My Nephew Dirk!(Presented by BRIGHT STAR CHILDREN'S THEATRE)

My Nephew Dirk Age 14 Singing Bridge Over Troubled Water!

Theatrical Comedy With My Nephew Dirk!

Big Booty





My Nephew Dirk literally in a cast, performing with the Cast! Fabulous talent and splendid humor that will have everyone laughing and saying - Encore, encore!

Presented by BRIGHT STAR CHILDREN'S THEATRE that "was launched to provide high caliber, professional theatre at an affordable and all-inclusive price. Our objective has long been to make our theatre company as accessible as possible--reaching as many young people in the process as we could, a commitment we proudly standby today."

Related Posts: My Nephew Bennie Age 13 Skit (Presented by BRIGHT STAR CHILDREN'S THEATRE)

My Nephew Dirk Age 14 Singing Bridge Over Troubled Water!

My Nephew Dirk Age 14 Singing!

Dirk Parker - Bridge Over Troubled Water (YouTube)

School Talent Show

Proud Auntie Michelle (ndpthepoetress - Jeane Michelle Culp)!