Saturday, July 14, 2007

Upgrade Pay Benefits!

The bitter sweetness of software upgrades, particularly at a place of employment! Someone must have added a dash of nuts to this bitter sweet candy bar, cause the improvements are driving me crazy! Some where behind the shroud – surely, someone in the Network Help Department is rofl right about now; as Monday morning, the Guinea pig-lab rats arrive. Shortly afterwards, the impending announcement: Ladies and Gentlemen start your engines! Suddenly, the sound of a thousand computers rebooting can be heard throughout the building. Beep, beep what the f** bleep bleep… and so on throughout the work week. Headache inducing, narrated overhead broadcast messages like, we have a data block – please log off and back on…. Suckers! Amplified transmission: Please log off again, stand by, log on…. Lollipops Suckers for everyone! Loudspeaker message, Please wait, network resources are low. Everyone log off. At least, as if for our entertainment; with each glitch, the assortment of voices from the above amp would differ. From time to time we could hear panic in a Help Department voice and thus feared we all were going to crash with the system, without any seat belts or refreshments! As echoed from the mikes, “We need EVERYONE to log off. Please log off NOW!” Nonetheless; the situation began to remind me of a not so convenient store, Stop n’ Go! What the heck, while I am here let me pick up a few items! Oh yes, Stress Management! Quick, on the Job Training; hands on experience! Oh wait, there’s Positive Thinking! System down is down time for Staff! Relax, put your feet up, have a break and just enjoy! Remember, Personnel are getting paid for any inconveniences! So to the one behind the invisible shroud, I say – who’s laughing now! Oh yea, coffee time galore!

5 comments:

Eastcoastdweller said...

I feel Your pain, Girl, I feel Your pain. I've been there.

ndpthepoetress Jean Michelle Culp said...

Yipper eastcoastdweller! But you know what they say, 'No pain no gain'! However; I say -modern technology - ug!

Nancy Wu said...

Glad you went through and came up with such a humorous post. I espicially like your stress management and feet high up too. Next time, bring catchup and try some mudslide. :P

Francis Scudellari said...

System down or system of a down? I'm never sure if it's best to play along or drop out. There aren't many good alternatives at the moment, but maybe we can invent a few.

ndpthepoetress Jean Michelle Culp said...

Thanks lansy! Yes, next time we should fire up the weber grillgrill with a few hamburgers and have some MudSlide on the rocks! There will be a BYOB of Heinz, Hunt's or Del Monte Ketchup while we catchup!

franscud, lol – system of down! Unfortunately, in the work place we can’t drop out without consequences, however; a few of us can hang back to see if the majority was successful! Overall, a few alternative inventions would be nice. Perhaps a system that test itself for flaws. Though, aren’t us humans wired for that – yet has this helped any system such as Politics, etc.? Maybe trial and error are the best solution for computers as for humans.

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